I spent years in Chair 2 (rooted in fear) before I experienced a baptism of the Father’s love that changed my life. His love went to the deepest roots of fear in my life that caused me to live with an orphan heart. His perfect love cast out fear and made me feel His pleasure, not pressure. I felt His liquid love pouring over me and driving out the deepest root of fear in my life. As His perfect love went in, I was delivered and cleansed. 

I heard an audible voice that said, “Leif, you are Mine. You are my beloved. I love you. I like you. I delight in you. You don’t have to do anything. We will do much together, but I don’t value you for what you do. I just want you for you. Come home.” 

When I came out of the encounter, I wept for several hours and expressed myself in ways Norwegians normally don’t do! I had been stoic before; now, I was a son. My Father loves me! He likes me! Something shifted. Many doors of opportunity opened before me that had never opened before. When I was in Chair 2, I needed opportunity in order to feel valuable and significant to get my needs met. But once I knew I was a son, I didn’t need anything! The whole world began to open up.

In simple theology, Jesus took my F and gave me an A+. He took my report card and gave me His. What is true of Him is now true of me. When I woke up to that grace, it was overwhelming. He did not treat me according to my mess and give me what I deserved. He treated me as a son in whom He was well pleased. Then He said, “This is the way I want you to treat the world. I have forgiven you; forgive them. As I’ve loved you, go and love them.” He sent me out to change the environment in the same way the environment inside me had been changed. 

When I am in Chair 1 (sonship), I am focused on the Father. I am overwhelmed with His goodness and kindness. I can see His face, hear His voice, and sense His love. It is a place of rest. I am energized and empowered by the Dove (Holy Spirit). 

When I am squeezed, love comes out. My desire is to bring heaven to Earth and see the Father’s kingdom come where I am. 

When I am in Chair 2 (orphan heart), I experience restlessness. I don’t see His face or hear His voice very well. I may know about His love, but I don’t really feel it. I am trying to live off of my own energy and power and end up drained and fatigued. Instead of the Dove, I have pigeon religion! When I get squeezed, something other than love comes out—anger, frustration, bitterness, or something else that doesn’t feel very good. Rather than bringing heaven to Earth, my focus is only on getting myself and others to heaven, without any confidence that He is doing something amazing in the here and now. 

If you find yourself in unrest, unable to be at peace, and constantly striving toward who you think God wants you to be, then you are in Chair 2, and that’s where the enemy wants to keep you. He would have preferred to keep you in darkness in Chair 3, but having lost that battle, his next best strategy is to keep you in Chair 2, where you can know about your Father but not really know the depths of His love. In that place, you will continue to be restless, striving to perform and become, but wearing yourself out.

God has a baptism of love for you—a place close to His heart. From this intimate place, you will be able to see the world as God sees it, feel what His heart feels, and operate from the depths of His love in the midst of every challenging circumstance. The closer you draw to the Father’s burning heart of love, the more it will change your inner environment, equipping you to change the environment around you. Instead of constantly being impacted by the world, you will be the one doing the impacting. 

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